notokinthehead











{February 20, 2012}   WANTED: Sandman

Slipping away into Dreamland

Whew! What a long weekend! I wasn’t able to come home last night as expected, but ended up staying another night due to a delayed flight. The dog went home this morning. And so did I. I feel like I haven’t slept in a week. I was a complete wreck yesterday. Every time someone closed a car door I’d come right up off of the couch and the poor little dog would go flying. I had all of the shades pulled down, I checked the windows and doors a million times to make sure they were locked and I kept every door in the house closed in an attempt to isolate myself and be comfortable. It didn’t work! I ended up taking several pills yesterday and last night.

Now that I’m home, I’m feeling a bit better but the lack of sleep and exhaustion is catching up with me. I just want to curl up under the covers on my bed and sleep for a few days. Babe hasn’t left my side since meeting me at the door when I got home this morning. Some days I think Babe is the reason I keep going, the reason I even get up out of bed. It’s a good feeling to be depended on without the usual demands and expectations people have. Babe depends on me for food and water and TLC. As crazy as it sounds, I kind of depend on her for some TLC, too. I don’t know what I’d do without Babe. Probably a lot less than I do now, haha.

Right now I’m battling with myself trying to decide whether I should curl up in bed with Babe now or fight it and wait until I go to bed tonight. There’s so much I should be doing that I’ve been putting off like filing taxes, going to the pharmacy to get the meds I’m out of, make phone calls to my lawyers, etc. I have zero motivation. The only thing I can do without having to face people is file my taxes online. Maybe I’ll do that and call it good for the day. I’m feeling like watching a movie. Maybe “Harold & Maude”. Anyone ever seen it? My therapist recommended it and now it’s one of my favorite movies. If you haven’t seen it, you should.

I just want to sleep!!!!



There. I did my taxes. Now give me my money.



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