{March 20, 2012}   Take Me Out Back & Shoot Me

How about a little venting session?

I grew up in a homophobic household. You could say my family is full of bigots. I never understood it. I guess it’s kind of like when I lived in Trenton, N.J.- there were African Americans everywhere, shit, I even had one living with me at one point. He was a very nice guy. I didn’t see color, I still don’t. I’m not saying I’m oblivious to the different races, I’m not stupid or blind. I’m saying I don’t care what you look like, who you like or anything else, as long as you’re a decent person we’ll get along and be friends. My family is also racist, by the way.

Anyway, I’m saying all of this because when I was visiting my parents yesterday my brother showed up and played a song that everyone thought was hilarious… except for me. It was a song making fun of homosexuals and it was very tasteless. I sat on it last night and today trying to come up for excuses for their behavior, but I can’t think of anything. They must realize that it bothers me… they know I’m attracted to women. They know I’m a lesbian, it’s not a secret anymore. Yet they continue to bash homosexuals in my face. They’re a bunch of rednecks who think “homo’s should be shot”. I have to say, that hurts. If that’s how they feel, why don’t they just take me out back and shoot me? It wouldn’t be as painful as listening to them hate who I am.

Christina says:

I have lived in a similar situation, but everything has worked out for me. I know my family don’t like it but it isn’t there life. I think it’s good that you don’t hide who you are and you shouldn’t. I love this blog and I am really glad I came across it!!! x

Well thank you very much, Christina. I’m glad you enjoy reading my blog. 🙂

maricsean says:

I get how you feel. My family’s not so homophobic, but they’re definitely not really supportive. LGBT issues are not talked about at all in our household. I have yet to tell them that I am trans, but when I do I’ll be living on my own.
The thing with family though is that there are different types of family. There’s the family you’re born to and then there’s the ones you put together. If the one you’re born to doesn’t work out you can make one with people who love you and care about and are truly like a family. 🙂

I couldn’t agree more!

I don’t know the details of your family life, but if you need to withdraw from them for a while, i hope you know that it’s okay to do that. I say that as a parent myself, and as a child who was estranged from my own parents for a few years and who now has a much better (although still far from perfect) relationship with them. The older i get, the more i realize that you’ve got to put yourself (and your children, if/when you have them) first, even if that means offending or angering others. Eventually they will get it. And if they don’t, what have you lost? Take care of yourself.

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