notokinthehead











{May 14, 2012}   I’m Back

Wow, it’s been awhile. I apologize. I’ve been busy with the fire/rescue thing. We actually had a small, single engine plane crash yesterday. Exciting stuff.

There’s been a lot going on. I am no longer seeing my psychotherapist (my fault- I should be seeing her), I’ve been training hard for fire & rescue and I’m possibly moving… again. It sucks not having a permanent place to stay. Hopefully I can settle down soon. I also had a psychological evaluation the other day- I showed up wearing my slippers. The psychologist asked me, “Do you always leave the house in your slippers?”. I was like, “huh?”. I looked down at my feet and my face turned beet-red. I was so embarrassed that I forgot to put my shoes on because I was in a hurry and running late.

I got my back and neck realigned. Well, partially. It was difficult for me to relax and let the doctor fix me without all the drugs, but I don’t want the drugs. I really want to straighten out. I’ve been very stressed out lately but I haven’t “lost” it. I’ve kept it together, for the most part. My anxiety is is at a sky-high level, but I’m sure the stress is making it worse.

Now the sad part… I feel (and I could be being irrational) that now that I’m starting to get my life together and I’m going in a ‘good’ direction with everything that I’m losing my friends. Example: since I joined the fire/rescue, my “best friend” has talked to me like three times and twice it was through text. Also, I’d expect the people close to me to be proud of me for getting my shit together and doing something good with myself, but I’ve gotten very little recognition for it. That hurts. A lot.

Ugh, anyway, I’m going to do my best to keep up with my blog. I apologize in advance for any future slacking on my part.



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