notokinthehead











{June 13, 2012}   Funerals & More Bad News

Today was my Uncle’s funeral. It was a very nice service. They did a slide show of pictures of him and the family. I have to say… I almost crawled under the pew when a few pictures of me popped up. I had to keep repeating to myself that it wasn’t about me. I made it through.

I went and did some cleaning for a friend this morning to help her out with her cleaning business. When I arrived home to get a shower and get dressed for my Uncle’s funeral, my Aunt called me into the living room and had me sit down. One of my cousin’s had an accident yesterday and she’s in bad shape. She hit her head pretty hard and at this very moment is in the operating room to have an aneurism corrected. It was her father’s funeral today. My cousin and I are close and I’m taking this kind of hard. I didn’t want to go to my Uncle’s funeral, that’s how hard it hit me. I’m PRAYING with all of my heart that she comes out of the surgery and is fine. Please, God, let her be okay.

Isn’t it ironic: Since I joined the Fire & Rescue department, I’ve been burying my loved ones left and right and visiting friends and family in the hospitals. I joined the department to help others, to give something back to the world… and I can’t even help my own family.

Thank God for my psychotherapy appointment tomorrow morning. I’m crumbling under all of the sadness.

 



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