{August 23, 2012}   “Ouch” is a Lonely Word

I messed my back up again. It hurts sooo bad. Being in pain sucks and I’m one of those people who, when in pain, wants to be alone, but not left alone. Good luck making sense of that statement. I know I’m a difficult person when I’m in so much pain: I’m irritable, no one can do anything right, I despise my body and myself for the pain, etc…   At this point there’s very little I can do. Even driving is incredibly painful, the only thing that eases the pain is staying perfectly still and holding my breath. So I sit here at the computer or I sit outside and read my book. Both of my parents are home, but neither of them are anywhere near. They’re working in their shop at the rear of the property. It bothers me that they’re here but not here. But how can I blame them when I just admitted how miserable I am to be around when I’m hurting so much?

Unfortunately, I can’t get in to see the doctor until next Tuesday, which means suffering and bitching for the next four days. I’m so miserable that I don’t want to even eat, and forget about trying to sleep. It hurts too much! I just want it better already…

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