notokinthehead











{September 19, 2012}   *~Sorry, Maybe~*

Talking to me
is like rolling
the dice. What
will you get?
Will I be
angry or nice?
I couldn’t tell
you, just know
it has nothing
to do with
you. It’s all
about me, me,
me. I’m out
of control, on
a rampage at
times, crying at
others. I will
yearn for your
hug, then turn
around and slap
you. It’s not
me, it’s the
demons that reside
within my crazy
mind. I’m so
sorry if I
hurt you, I
don’t want to.
My words are
sweet at best,
sting like a
white-ass hornet
when I lose
it. I can
promise you this:
This hurts me
more than any
attack I could
break out on
you.

Maybe it’s a
little too late
to ask for
your patience, your
forgiveness. Maybe you
could never understand,
try as you
might. Maybe I
was meant to
push people away
from me. Maybe
my apologies are
worn out, spoken
too many times
with no change
to prove my
repentance. Maybe I
can be a
better person? Though
I won’t ask
you to hold
your breath for
me. I want
To be “average”.
I want to
keep my promises,
be sincere with
my “sorries”. I
don’t want to
be crazy anymore…



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