{September 24, 2012}   Excerpt From My Journal 9/24/12


I woke up around four-thirty this morning with an awful spasm down the entire right side of my back. I tried stretching and heat to no avail. It’s still killing me. It’s not so bad if I bend to my right and don’t move.

I’ve had a really shitty day. There’s no explanation for it, really. That’s just how I feel: Low. Bad in general. I guess you could say “depressed”. This is a bad time of year for me, but I must think subconsciously it will be different this year, because I never anticipate it, it just happens.

I was able to get my Flector patches from the pharmacy today, which are supposed to help the inflammation and pain in my shoulder. However, they still did not have my Ativan and I’m super anxious and fragile as a stick of dynamite. Let’s hope I’m able to avoid people for the most part until I can get it.

The Fire Department scheduled me for a physical next week. It’s a requirement, per the State, and I also have to get a bunch of immunizations. Fortunately, I’m always at the top of the list for vaccinations such as H1N1 due to my cardiac issues. Ugh, who am I kidding? It’s going to suck. I fail miserably at finding the silver lining in anything. Especially as of late.

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