notokinthehead











{September 28, 2012}   Journal Excerpt From 9/27/12

19:35

Short EMS meeting tonight. “M” brought “L” by too. She’s a paramedic from a local transport service & the Town of “C”. She has volunteered her time to help “Z” & I with our National Registry testing.

“Maura” messaged me today. We had a short fling when she was my physical therapist. Anyway, she’s coming up here next weekend and wants to get together. She’s bringing her new boyfriend…

“Ash” came over this morning and took me out to lunch. We had a nice time. It’s too bad that she and my brother broke up, she fits so well in the family and she’s my age, so our maturity levels are about the same. It’s just nice to have someone to joke around with and talk with.

The more I get “out there”, the more I want to hole up. It’s exhausting.

 

22:30

“Ash” just messaged me- she wants to take me to see Saving Abel in concert Saturday night. I guess she asked my brother about it first and he told her I’d like it, so she bought the tickets already. I can’t really say no, so I’m trying t be open-minded about it. Trying not to dread it, though I like Saving Abel. I just don’t like being in crowds. Or leaving my home, really.

There seems to be a lot happening all at once. It hasn’t really begun yet and I already feel overwhelmed and a bit anxious. I think my mind is most occupied with “Maura’s” visit. I’d love to see her, but it’s going to drag up old feelings and I think it’s just be weird with her new boyfriend there.

SIGH.

 

Tonight’s song just happens to be by Saving Abel:



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