notokinthehead











{November 6, 2012}   “There’s Basically Nothing I Can Do”

Those are not the kind of words you want to hear from a doctor when you’re in so much pain day in and day out. I feel pretty hopeless and defeated right now. She said the best thing for me is to not use my right arm and not do any lifting of any sort. I’m just not healing, no one has any answers for me and she said “There’s basically nothing I can do”. My back and shoulder are very inflamed (swollen) and every treatment we’ve tried has done nothing to help with the pain. This is the third doctor I’ve been through and just like the other two she says I have the beginning of Fibromyalgia and there just aren’t any treatments they can offer me.

I have one last resort I’m going to try. I put a call in to my primary care physician and I’m going to see if she will refer me to a Pain Care Clinic. I have a family member who suffers from Fibromyalgia and she has been going to a Pain Care Clinic and says they’ve helped. I’m just looking for some relief from the everyday aches and pains. And some freakin’ answers to why my body refuses to heal itself!

I’m so frustrated today that I came home from my appointment and broke down and cried in front of my Mother. Of course she has no sympathy for me but I just can’t hold it in any longer. All of my strength is drained. I have nothing left. I am down to frustration, hurt and anger and I can’t hold it back anymore. The walls have come down and I’m not sure how to build them back up. I feel vulnerable without my walls to protect me.



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