notokinthehead











{December 14, 2012}   Six Flabby Pounds?!

scaleI was weighed at the pain care clinic the other day. I usually just skip it. Like at my PCP’s office the nurse, who knows me oh-so-well, walks by the scale and slows just long enough to point at it and look at me with her head turned slightly sideways, like a curious dog. I don’t even look at the scale, I just say “no thank you” and we continue on to the room. I don’t even weigh myself at home because if I find I’ve gained ONE pound I get  upset. Even if I’m menstruating. The extra pounds weigh on my mind (pun intended, hah) and I torture myself with them. The other day the phlebotomist caught me off guard and I just stepped onto the scale. To my horror I have gained six pounds since the last time I was weighed (I think about eleven months ago) and I’m not even menstruating! I’m not sure how this happened, and since I haven’t been weighing myself I have no idea when it happened. Or how it happened. My diet hasn’t changed in ages. All I know is that I’m not happy about it. Now I have to do damage control. Well, I have to figure out how to do damage control. It’s difficult for me to do much exercise anymore because of my back and shoulder. Maybe, just MAYBE, those six pounds have to do with gaining muscle. Muscle does weigh more than fat, and I’ve been doing a lot of difficult things with the fire department, while wearing sixty-plus pounds of gear, including the tools (haligan, etc). I’m so desperate for an excuse to this weight gain that I’m even thinking how I could have gained muscle-weight by having to climb two flights of stairs to get to my bedroom now, before I moved back in here my bedroom was on the ground level and there was no need for me to climb stairs.

But I know there are no excuses. I must get my lazy ass in gear and do something about it. Losing weight isn’t a miracle, it’s work. Oh the stresses!!!



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