{February 22, 2013}   She’s Come Undone

Not only have  I been slacking off with my training and missing important meetings, but I just dropped out of physical therapy and dyed my hair a strange red. Tomorrow I’m taking Stubby back to his previous home. Tonight I’m going to a different state to go to a bar and people watch… maybe even have some fun? I won’t be having any more than a few beers because I’ll have a two hour drive . I’m also picking up a couple of people on the way, so I’ll be responsible for their drunk asses too.

I’m taking a break from my therapist too, but I wonder what she would have to say? I almost think she would cheer me on, but if not maybe she would suggest that I’m unhappy with something in my mind or feeling like something is out of my control, so I’m becoming a control freak with what I can control. Like my hair color and what I do. You know, that might not be too far from the truth.

Til I figure it out I’m going to try to enjoy myself as I unravel.

{February 20, 2013}   Status: Soon-To-Be Cat Lady

Guess who came home with me when I finished house sitting? That cute, loving, adorable cat, Stubby:


Stubby stealing my heating pad and burying his head under my butt.

His name is Stubby because he’s a Maine Coon Cat and the breeders cut his tail off to a little stub when he was a tiny kitten. I think that’s cruel, myself. But it’s cute because his little stub does a little wiggle. He and Babe are trying to establish the Alpha at this point so they’re not really getting along. It seems they decide to fight most in the middle of the night when they both want to be in bed with me… ugh.

My little “relaxing” weekend didn’t go as planned. It was still relaxing, though. I didn’t read as much as I had planned to read… because I spent most of the weekend watching the full seasons of The L Word on my Kindle. So it was still a good weekend.

On Sunday we had three first alarms, two of them at the same time. All turned out to be simple calls, but it made for a hectic afternoon and evening. Since my lazy weekend I’ve had trouble getting my ass in gear. I went to physical therapy on Monday and it killed me. I haven’t been to any calls since then and I feigned a headache to skip out on my meeting at the hospital last night. I have a feeling my EMS coordinator is probably going to give me a hard time the next time I do show up but even that isn’t enough motivation for me to get my shit together. I get the feeling that I’m really screwing up. To top it all off, I lost my insurance so I’m quitting physical therapy ($210/week). Another issue with physical therapy is I’m very attracted to my physical therapist and we all know how that ended for me last time. Maybe I have a weird fetish for PT’s? All I know is I both can’t stand to spend those two hours per week with her and I can’t wait until the next appointment. Sigh.

Tonight I have enough motivation to go play some board and card games. Maybe it’s just responsibility that I’m having a hard time grasping right now?


{February 16, 2013}   Day #2 in the Middle of Nowhere

This is day #2 of house sitting.  I’m quite content and so is this little guy.


Meet Stubby. Curled up asleep in my lap.

{February 15, 2013}   Mini Vaca? Yes, Please!
This is where you'll find me this weekend!

This is where you’ll find me this weekend!

I’m going to house sit for my brother and his wife while they are on a romantic get-away this weekend. The best part? It’s a mini vacation for me! There’s no cell service and it’s far enough away that if there were any signals, I wouldn’t be able to respond to calls 🙂  So it’s going to be a quiet “me” weekend. I’m going to have lots of quiet time to read on my Kindle and just do nothing. Well, I’ll have to feed the wood stove and the cats, but other than that… I’m free! It’s the simple things I’m looking forward to: taking as much time in the shower as I want! Reading for as long as I want with no interruptions! Sleeping whenever I feel like it… for as long as I’d like! And best of all… the quiet seclusion!!!

Oh man, I’ve needed this for so long! There isn’t even cable TV, just Wi-fi. Ahh. Hope you all have a good weekend!

{February 14, 2013}   Happy Valentine’s Day

My Valentine is once again my niece. This year she’s six and I got her the cutest little teddy bear with heart-shaped chocolates. She gave me a Cinderella Valentine’s card with a little bracelet. She is the Love of my life. Too bad we can’t straighten her mother out. She deserves better.

With her off to school it’s time to start my day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

{February 13, 2013}   I Want to be a Cat

I think we’ve all given thought to which animal we’d like to be if we could be any animal we choose (other than human, the worst animal of all). I would want to be a cat, but I’d want to be my cat, Babe, not just any cat. Babe has it made.  She has the ability to make anyone like , even those who claim they don’t like cats. She gets all kinds of attention, yet is able to disappear when she wants some downtime. She’s very well taken care of and very loved. Man, the life of a cat! Oh yeah, and she gets to sleep in when I have to get up…


{February 10, 2013}   One Year, One Day

Blizzard 2013

Yesterday WordPress informed me that it was my one-year anniversary in the blogging world. Unfortunately, we had a State of Emergency and I did not have the time/chance to write a decent blog marking the milestone. I had to do a 24-hour shift at the department and I hope to not have to do that again! Military cots are awful (no one ever mentions that when they talk about our men and women across seas!), I’ve never shoveled so much in my life (had to keep the bay doors cleared and the Town Road Crew couldn’t keep up with it) and one of our EMS teams buried our ambulance in a snowbank. What a shift it was! Needless to say, in a mere twenty-four hours I undid all of my physical therapists hard work. Oops. Now I am exhausted so I’ll try to keep it somewhat short and sweet. Here are the big things that I learned and have impacted me in the last year since I began my blog:

I joined my town’s fire department and took an EMT course. On that same note, I became the department’s #2 responder and administrative assistant, as well as the only female firefighter/EMT on the department. I completed a driving course and received a certificate enabling me to drive any fire/rescue apparatus in three states in New England.

I moved back to my parent’s house. What more is there to say about that? I’m comfortable and content here… don’t judge.

I lost my best friend but gained much knowledge in how relationships are supposed to work. I learned that I’m not going to be happy when I give and give and get nothing but sh*t in return. That’s a big step!

I learned that BEING someone really does have to do with the company you keep. If you want to be a respected and valued person in your community, you need to surround yourself with the same. Not drunks and dead-beats. Alcohol will get you nowhere but down.

The Police really are your friends, not your enemies. I let the actions of a few blind me to the good ones. I’m proud to say that I am now friends with all five police officers in my town as well as a few State Troopers. In EMS they are, in fact, our bulletproof vests, our angels. They are human and, like me and you, make mistakes.

I was a part of my brother’s elaborate wedding proposal which included the fire department’s apparatus and half of the fire department. I’m going to have a new sister-in-law on June first! (I actually like this one, hehe)

I chopped my long hair off! And I love it!!! (Of course I donated it to breast cancer patients)

I bought a new car and got rid of my old truck.

My family received the news of my Mother’s terminal illness. Then we received the news that instead of having only a few years… she could have ten or more!

One of the most important things, if not the most important, that has happened to me in the last year since I began blogging is gaining my new “family” in the fire department. There’s nothing like knowing you’d give your life for someone without a second thought and knowing that they would do the same. Nothing compares to that.

That completes my list, though I could go on and on. I have no song for today, but here are a couple of music videos I really like:



{February 8, 2013}   One Year

Female FFWordPress informed me that today marks my one year anniversary blogging. Wow time goes by fast! A lot has happened and to mark this milestone I’d really like to add up the important things. Maybe tomorrow, though, for we are under a State of Emergency (thank you, Nemo!) and it’s required that we all be at the station for at least the next twenty-four hours beginning at six o’clock tonight. It’s going to make for a very long night/day. We have little fold-up cots to sleep on and my back is not looking forward to it. At least, being the only female, I get to make the office into my own little temporary bedroom while the guys bunk in the conference room (maybe I won’t hear their snoring, haha). This will be my first all-hands mandatory over-night stay. I’ve stayed one time before, for Hurricane Sandy, but it was just two of us. I imagine it will be sort of like a dorm. One of my Lieutenants has all of the meals planned, dinner tonight, breakfast tomorrow, lunch tomorrow and all kinds of snacks in between. I’m nervous and maybe a little uncomfortable, but I trust these guys with my life (I have to, and I know they trust me with theirs) so it’ll be okay. Maybe even a little bit fun. Aside from the stack of reports I’ve been neglecting for almost two weeks now.

I think I’m well prepared. Aside from the clothing necessities I have my MP3 player. headphones and Kindle to kill boredom. Oh, and my Emergency Medical Services Monopoly game! 😀

Stay safe everyone! Especially those of you on the East coast!

{February 8, 2013}   Pizza and Meetings

After teaching a friend how to properly patch holes in drywall today I had a meeting at the fire department and a work detail (inspecting the apparatus). In the middle of changing the oil in the ambulance we had a fire alarm so it turned into a Nascar pit stop session. Then I came home (freezing from standing outside in the 14 degree weather) and grabbed a pizza pan that had just come out of the oven, successfully burning my ring and pinkie fingers. I didn’t immediately drop the pan because my fingers were temporarily numb from the cold. I can feel them now! Burning and stinging…

I had an okay session with physical therapy yesterday. I’m not looking forward to going through it all again. Tomorrow is supposed to be session number two but we’re also supposed to get 18-24 inches of snow between tonight and Saturday. Oh and 45-50 mph winds. It’s going to be a true nor’ easter.

Welcome to New England!

Chelsea Lately, The L Word and bed for me. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

{February 5, 2013}   Treating Myself= Things Go Wrong

I treated myself to a Black Widow .22 Mag this morning. Nice, small and concealable. It will probably become my carry gun in place of my bulky .9mm Glock.

Black Widow .22

I was (am still) pretty excited about it. But when I arrived home from my Uncle’s birthday party this evening two of my brothers and my parents were sitting around the kitchen table. My Mother was unhappy with me because I mentioned to one of my brothers that she was smoking again. My other brother was mad at me because I mentioned (for the first time!) that he owes me $400.00 for putting oil in his tank because he was flat broke. He stormed out of the house. My Father was mad at me because simply by walking in I managed to cause all of that drama. I wish that I hadn’t bothered to come home tonight until my parents were in bed and no one was around.

I begin physical therapy again tomorrow. My heart is not in it at all.

Today’s song:

et cetera