notokinthehead











{March 18, 2013}   Bad Girl to Good Girl

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Wow, I’ve come a long way. In fact I’ve come from sitting in the back of a police cruiser a few years ago to riding shotgun with one of our finest. I just got off the phone with one of the Sergeants and he’s going to pick me up Friday night at 18:00 so I can ride around with him and possibly bust a few people. I’m so excited. I was going to ride with our female officer but she’s working week nights now and in our small town all of the exciting things happen on the weekend nights. So I happily accepted his offer for Friday. Maybe another time I can wiggle my way into her passenger seat.

It’s funny how some excitement can bring you loads of energy. Now what to do with it? Laundry? Paperwork? Boxing!



{March 16, 2013}   Out Of Control

It was a rough morning, but it could have been much worse I guess. We were denied a new fire truck and instead they gave us $50,000 of the $275,000 that’s required to make our current attack pumper safe. We’re not sure how that’s going to play out yet.

Since I returned home from the meeting around 14:30 I ate a Cheddar Wurst, then went grocery shopping, came home and ate a salad, then had some cherry-vanilla ice cream, then a lean pocket and I still want to eat. That’s very abnormal for me and I feel like a disgusting pig. My belly feels plenty full but I just want to eat and eat and eat…

To distract myself I’ve been doing some light boxing. Since my left hand is fractured (though I removed the cast) I’m power jabbing with my right and throwing easy punches with my left (with gloves now, haha). I’m also getting the kicks in 🙂

Have I mentioned that I emailed our Chief of Police asking to do a ride along with one of our officers? He said they don’t usually do that but he will make an exception for me! To top it off he mentioned he may have me ride with our female Sergeant (my crush)!!! I’m very much looking forward to experiencing a day as a police officer.



{March 16, 2013}   Fight For Your Life

That’s pretty much the pep talk my Chief gave us prior to this morning’s Town Meeting. We’re in desperate need of a new or used fire truck but the Selectmen have all but told us “tough shit”. We are fighting for our lives… the attack pumper we have now has a broken frame and if it lets go while we’re screaming down the road with 2500 gallons of water on it the chances of us surviving are very little to none. Unfortunately, this town’s taxpayers are wary of having their taxes go up by $14 a year. Again, unfortunately, we’re risking our lives on a daily basis for them but they hold little regard to ours.

The meeting will be a war zone this morning. To top it all off my Chief has planned battle with my Mother. He has her planning to speak up about how two of her children are on that truck at any given time. Everyone knows how volatile my Mother is. I dare someone to challenge her.



{March 14, 2013}   Infamously Me

I discovered that I made the “big” newspaper back in January for a fire that we fought. It’s kind of stupidly exciting for me. Here’s the pic:

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I'm wearing the jacket that says P. RAND, no helmet because I gave it to my brother, who's standing directly to my left.

I look kind of lime that poor kid in that movie “A Christmas Story” when he’s all bundled up in his snow suit and can’t hardly move.

This was a fire hard and we fought. The house was fully involved when we arrived on scene.



{March 13, 2013}   My First Gun Fight

How can I possibly sleep right now? It’s 04:50 and I just got back from a nine hour call. The police had a subject who barricaded himself in his house and had weapons. They had us stage at the end of the (short) road. About two hours into it the son of a bitch opens fire. The police retreated and awaited the S.W.A.T. team’s arrival. They finally got there and the guy started shooting again! So they started throwing tear gas bombs into the house and flash bombs. We’re now about four hours into the whole ordeal. As soon as they threw the flash bombs he started shooting again, completely randomly. By now we’ve moved our fleet further from the scene but can hear everything clear as day. Everything went quiet for about an hour while they tried to talk him out. Then he started shooting again and this time the police fired back. It went back and forth like this for a long time, I’ve never heard so many gun shots in my life. The guy finally surrendered when he ran out of ammunition. No one got hurt, miraculously, considering the sprays of bullets. Talk about an exciting night! As it turned out the guy had a gas mask so the many bombs they launched into the house were useless. And to think that it all started over an officer serving a warrant. People are fucked up!

So now I wonder when I will crash and pass out? The adrenaline is still going strong, even after a tiring nine hour stand off.



{March 12, 2013}   Today’s Garb

Another new shirt. It’s white, black, blue, gray and yellow. It’s super comfy in the way that it’s so light, it feels like I’m almost naked. It’s also very obviously a boy’s shirt. I asked my Mother what she thought of it and, with a twisted face, she said it looked nice.

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Physical Therapy was super painful today. Too much of her touching my painful spots and aggravating already very angry muscle spasms. My favorite part is when she sits behind me and, using the entire surface if her hands, gently pushes against the spasming muscles. It’s calming. You could probably dig deeper and say I like any positive touching because I have very little to no human contact that isn’t negative or me helping someone else. I think positive human contact is important to have. Sometimes getting that is next to impossible.



{March 12, 2013}   Small Victories

At the doctors yesterday I was elated to discover that I have lost four pounds! I know four pounds isn’t a lot, but if you think about it that’s a half gallon of milk or a can of beans. That’s just the motivation that I need to get back into boxing, broken hand or not. I still have one good hand 🙂
Quick run down of my history: When I first injured my shoulder and my back I lost about ten pounds, bringing me just under my healthy weight according to the BMI. However, it didn’t take long of being laid up to gain that back, plus another ten. I’ve always struggled with my weight. I went from an obese fourteen year old to a thin, bulimic seventeen year old, to a healthy, active twenty-one year old. It’s a cycle, really. I still have my off days when I resort back to the bulimic ways, but I’ve been doing a good job with eating healthy and drinking a lot less alcohol and soda. And I’m at the point where I understand that losing fatty weight takes work.

Physical Therapy today. It’s raining cats and dogs and I really don’t feel like going anywhere. Is it just me or does it seem like every day is laundry day???



{March 12, 2013}   Above And Beyond

I cheated… I’ve been taking my cast off so that people won’t know that I broke my hand. I’ve even been on both medical and fire calls without my cast since I broke my hand. Tonight we had a lift assist for our frequent handicapped flopper. I’m honored to go on calls, whether they are emergencies or service calls, but this particular patient’s husband always has me change his wife’s clothing and pad after we assist her into bed. It’s above and beyond my duty, and it’s incredibly uncomfortable for me. Meanwhile, my Captain waits in the next room laughing at me. The only remedy I can think of is to avoid these calls, but I can’t do that and keep a good conscience.

I got my medical insurance back so I saw my doctor at the pain clinic today. We scheduled more thoracic spinal nerve blocks. Maybe I will be able to get some relief.

I begin physical therapy again tomorrow, though I really don’t want to. My pain levels have been at a 8 or 9 out of 10. I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed, like 15-18 hours because it just hurts too much.

Now for some fun news!
We have a new police officer in town! She is very friendly and will stop by the station to say hi if she sees my car. We do some small talk and she leaves. If I see her parked in her cruiser, I’ll stop and chit chat for a bit. She’s gorgeous and the uniform doesn’t hurt, either. So, I guess I have a little crush on our new police officer 🙂   It feels good to be back in the game. At least, to have someone to pine over, even if they’re unavailable.



{March 10, 2013}   “Hey! Baby!”

Here’s a song that makes me daydream and makes me silly happy!



{March 9, 2013}   Unconditional Love

What’s better than unconditional love? Nothing. Who’s love for you will never waver? When you’re having a bad day or are absolutely miserable? Your pet. Mine happens to be Babe, my cat. She loves me no matter what. She loves me so much, she’ll sit through hours of an L Word marathon. That’s love.

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et cetera