I awoke about 05:30 this morning balling my eyes out because the pain in my shoulder was so bad. I haven’t a clue what I did to make it hurt so bad. But it hasn’t gotten any better throughout the day. In fact I called my doctors office begging them to call me in a script for pain meds, me- the one who is 100% against taking any meds that would impair my ability to do my job. At this point I can’t do my job anyway. I’m currently awaiting a call back from my doctors office.
I went out and bought a cat door, $39.98, and had my Dad install it today. My cat won’t use it. Instead, she avoids it like the plague and still scratches the hell out of my door. I guess I’ll google how to make a cat use a cat door.
As I bang this post out, sitting in my room in the sweltering heat, my thermometer reads 98.5 degrees outdoors and 98 degrees indoors. I’m melting.

{July 14, 2013}   I Don’t Think In English


^^ So true. It’s strange how my thoughts swirl around my mind but it’s almost impossible to transfer them to paper, because it’s like I don’t think in English. It’s the greatest decoding game ever, and by far the most challenging.

{July 14, 2013}   Thinking Too Much…



This made me laugh because my physical therapist air-headedly always kept telling me to “ stay straight” and “My goal is to make you straight”. Hahaha. Of course, she was talking about my spine and she never understood why I chuckled every time she said something like that.

{July 11, 2013}   Another Sleepless Night


“She only drinks coffee at midnight/when the moment is not right/and the timing is quite unusual/you see her confidence is tragic/but her intuition’s magic/and the shape of her body, unusual…” -Meet Virginia, Train

Lately my bedtime goes like this:
>>>>> One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol’ McDonald had a farm, heeeyyyy Macarena! I hate everybody. Am I really upset that the doctor’s office hasn’t sent me a bill yet? Shit, I forgot to take my medication today. I need to put gas in my car. I’m two weeks and three dead bodies behind on reports. I need to fall asleep now, I have to get up in three hours and fifty-five minutes. I can’t wait for my friend to come up on the nineteenth. My Portuguese is way better than it was, but it needs a lot of improvement. I’m going to be dragging ass tomorrow. I’m praying that someone can take this pain away. Ugh, three hours and fifty minutes. It’ll take me, what, an hour and a half to fall into a restful sleep, if I can, then I have to get up two hours and ten minutes later? But I’m still dressed, so round it off to maybe two hours of sleep. I wonder if I’ll be able to get a nap in tomorrow? If I could write you a song to make you fall in love I would already have you up under my arm… you think you’re cooler than me.

Am I the only one? (I’m the only one who’ll walk across the fire for you, and I’m the only one who’ll drown in my desire for you…). It’s never ending!

{July 7, 2013}   Jane of All Trades

Certified auto technician, firefighter, EMT and now… a carpenter. I guess I’m fortunate to be able to do so much, but I’m not feeling super grateful today. The heat has gone down to eighty-six degrees and the humidity is only at eighty-two percent so I figured I’d better work on the house while it’s fair weather. I’m still sweating my butt off, though.


Spackle, sand, spackle, sand, etc.

Day three with my long-time nephew:
My parents took my nephew to a Native American Pow-Wow today while I worked on the house. He’s become quite comfortable with us, which I’m glad of. My parents just took him back to his current foster parent’s home. He will stay there through Thursday while I finish working on the house and getting it ready for him to move in on Friday. I have my work cut out for me.

Day number two with my long-lost nephew.

He’s a good kid. We went to my Uncle’s house today for a family barbeque and it went very well. Okay, so it was really boring. Anyway, my nephew seems to be enjoying himself. He’s really taken to me especially. After we got home this afternoon I laid down for a quick nap that ended up lasting three hours. When I got up I didn’t even make it to the bottom of the stairway when he came running, “You’re finally up!”. Haha. I sat outside with my parents for a little bit and they told me that while I was napping my nephew kept saying, “She’s still sleeping?”, “She’s not up yet?”, “How long is she going to sleep?”. Apparently he was very anxious for me to be up and about.
I watched the two National Treasure movies with him tonight. He says they’re his favorite movies. I think it’s going to work out with him. All He needs and desperately wants is to be lived and cared for. Fortunately if there’s anything my family knows how to do, it’s making people feel as though they’ve always been an important part if this family.
I’m kind of looking forward to my nephew officially moving in Friday. It feels good to be doing something for someone, and it’s amazing how he came back to us. We thought we’d never see him again, but here he is, almost fifteen years later. It’s amazing!

{July 6, 2013}   Day One


Today was the first day that my nephew has been here. He’s spending the weekend here and then he’ll be moved in on Friday. So far it’s gone well. He wants to be a medic in the Army and so I took him to the Fire Department with me and showed him around. He seemed to really enjoy it. One of my Lieutenants left a Fire Department shirt in my locker for him, which I thought was very nice. A seventeen year old boy isn’t going to be easy to live with but at least we’re starting off well.

I was awakened this morning by my pager going off. One of our frequent fliers passed away last night and her husband called 911 this morning. He said he couldn’t wake her after the six o’clock news last night but he thought she was just in a deep sleep, induced by this awful heat. However when he got up this morning (15 hours later) she hadn’t moved at all so he called 911. She had been gone for awhile and the house was hotter than it was outside. It was not a pleasant call, especially without first having some coffee.

Tomorrow I’m going to a big family cookout. One of my Aunts flew up from Georgia so we’re having a big get-together, and my nephew will finally get to meet the rest of the family. The poor kid has been in foster homes for so long (unbeknownst to my family, long story) and I think he needs to know he has a big family who loves him and cares about him.

Let’s hope this heat and awful humidity breaks up soon! We’ve been at a rather steady 92% humidity. Ugh.

{July 2, 2013}   Uprooted

With my attitude and the way everything has to be “just-so” you’d think I’m an only child. I’m not- I’m the youngest of eight children and the only one remaining at home, residing on the third floor, as far away from the action as possible. I have my own bathroom and my own four rooms: bedroom, office-studio, storage and one under construction. Today the State contacted my parents and asked them to take my nephew in who none of us has seen since he was three… he turned seventeen in January. Guess who’s moving tomorrow? Guess who’s losing a room tomorrow?
So today has been very busy. I’ve been working my arse off to get that one room done because it’s the biggest room and I want that room to be my bedroom.
I’m not going to lie, suddenly having a seventeen year old boy move into my home, my space, has thrown me for a loop. I understand that he needs placement and we are his family but… why can’t he have one of my parents rooms on the first or second floor??? Yes, this is the part where I act like a selfish, spoiled, only-child.
Shit just got real.

et cetera