{September 21, 2013}   Puppets

puppetSo I have a good friend who’s having a hard time right now. I think it would be safe to say that she’s having a bit of a mental breakdown. I’ve been there for her every day, until I had to have thirty injections in my back and have been legitimately drugged up. All of a sudden I’m the enemy. I’m a liar, I’m selfish and I don’t care about her or what she’s going through. ARGH! Finally last night I had to shut my phone off and avoid all social media. I got to my breaking point, she pushed me over the edge. Then tonight I’m hanging out with a friend and she starts texting my friend telling him how I blew her off and all of a sudden I don’t have any time for her, etc. I don’t have the patience for this crap. I’m in pain.

Being friends with her is like being a puppet on a string. Anybody who is friends with her is her puppet on a string. She says who I can and cannot be friends with, where I can and cannot go and when I’m going to do this and that. Maybe I am being selfish in the way that I’m not going to answer to anyone. I’m my own person and will do and see who I please, whenever I want. I’m single and I have ZERO responsibilities. That’s how I like it.

So tonight I’m struggling with writing her an email explaining that I do love her, she’s like a big sister to me, but I can’t play all these games. I won’t play all of these games. Take me or leave me, but I’m not a puppet on a string and I won’t listen to the b.s. that results from me doing what I want to do.

{September 13, 2013}   Cool, Rainy Nights


Tonight I cleaned my ass off at a friends house, trying to make it habitable. My reward: a nice, relaxing time in the hot tub with the cool, pouring rain coming down. It worked wonders on my achy back and shoulders. I’m spending the night with a great friend and then just hanging out tomorrow. Time for this girl to take a break from the every day stress 🙂

{September 11, 2013}   Everyone Has A Story

booksHave you ever met, or simply looked at, someone who made you curious? Someone who, while driving your car home or pushing a cart down the aisle at a grocery store, had you thinking “I wonder what his/her story is?“. There’s just something about them that has you super-intrigued, borderline obsessive. It kind of makes you wonder if it’s because there’s some kind of unseen connection between you and that mysterious person. I think it must be some connection because very rarely does anyone make eye contact or small-talk anymore. It seems to me that more and more people avoid making eye contact and I sincerely believe it’s because human interaction is losing popularity ever since everyone’s friends live inside their computer. But now I’m getting off the subject. I have recently encountered a person who has piqued my curiosity and I’ve found myself wondering about them and what their story could be a lot lately.

She’s always smiling when she’s talking to people, she’s a great people-person and I can tell she’s always mindful to get on the same level as the person she is interacting with. She’s kind and she has those honest eyes, the kind that show you what you see is what you get. However when she doesn’t realize anyone’s looking she looks almost sad, though it could be that she’s deep in thought. All of these questions come to my mind: where does she come from? How did she get here? Who is she when she’s not in uniform? Does she wear a mask like a pro or is she really a good person?

I think the reason I’m so intrigued with her story is because I can usually read people really well. I’m good at picking up on little things and within a few times of seeing someone I can pretty well have the puzzle pieces put together and satisfy any curiosity I may have about them. But not her. She’s a complete mystery. It’s been a year now and I have nothing about her figured out. That’s why it nags at me. I’m sure it goes on a deeper level and has everything to do with my ability to read people and how it’s failing me with this one person. Someone I work with, none the less.

Does she have something to hide and that’s why she’s so good at being mysterious? Most people would have slipped up by now. Or is it really a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of deal? It’s almost to the point where while working a scene I just want to blurt out, “What is your story? Who ARE you?”.

On a completely different note… I’m planning on going to the city to see my crush next week. It’s been far too long and I’m jonesing to see her. I’m really hoping my plans work out!

{September 7, 2013}   Terrible Case of the Hiccups

Driving home tonight- my stereo blasting, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and I suddenly see blue lights flashing up ahead. Out of habit I put my coffee down, stub out my cigarette and turn the stereo off, all in one swift motion. I slow down as I approach the blue lights, spot a pink sign reading “SOBRIETY CHECKPOINT AHEAD” and, coincidentally, start hiccuping. Two Police Officers waved me to the side of the road, I lowered my window and greeted them as one shone his light in my face and the other inside my car. I prayed, please don’t hiccup again! Oops, too late. And just like on the COPS television show they had me step out of the vehicle and asked my permission to search my car. Yeah I have nothing to hide (hup). “Where are you coming from? (Coffee-hup-place) Where are you going? (Ho-hup-me) Have you been drinking tonight? (No-hup-Sir) Have you used any illegal substances? (Hup-No)”. Then the pat down. Finally the Officer asking all of the questions runs my license and registration just as the other Officer pops out of my car with my pistol… Oh crap. It’s all legal, it’s registered and I have a concealed carry permit, however their protocols require them to check the pistols serial numbers to make sure it’s not stolen and that it hasn’t been used to commit a crime. They went so far as to tear my turn-out gear apart and dump my boots upside down. Forty-five minutes after I stubbed out my cigarette I was free to go. I got back in my car, my coffee was ice cold and I discovered that that was my last cigarette.
So something as simple as having the hiccups at the exact wrong time can cause quite the headache.

{September 4, 2013}   I’m A Big Kid Now

LGI finally broke down and ordered a new cell phone… a touch screen phone. I guess I’m finally growing up, or just breaking down and following trends? I’ve had the old flip-style phones since I got my very first cell phone ten years ago. However I’ve never had much luck with them: one went swimming in the river on a kayaking trip, one got washed with my clothes, two got thrown and smashed, one got run over by a firetruck and my latest one, the one I have now, is worn out. Half of the buttons no longer work and I’m going through texting withdrawals. So I got on the computer, felt like I was cheating on a significant other, and researched cell phones. I’ve decided to go with Straight Talk and the L38G Optimus Dynamic LG. It should be here Monday and I’ll be put to the test. I have all I can manage to use my Kindle Fire HD because it’s a touch-screen and there’s no keyboard or mouse. I’m quite technologically challenged, to say the least. I do feel confident in my latest endeavor, though. The only thing that disappoints me is that I cannot seem to find a case for it with either a Maltese Cross (fire department symbol) or the Star of Life (EMS symbol). I can’t even find a decent-looking pink camouflage case. So it looks like I’m going to have to settle for a plain pink and black case.

I guess I could be having far worse troubles than a physically disabled cell phone and not getting exactly what I want.

On the very bright side of things I’m finally getting into the Pain Clinic on Friday and will be able to get more pain meds. That will be a huge relief and help me out tremendously. I’ve spent much too much time working on the computer at my office for the last few weeks and my body does not like it. Deadlines are evil, I like to freelance!

{September 4, 2013}   I’m With The Band

Steel Pans

This evening I went and did something crazy… I tried out for a Steel Drum Band and was chosen! Mind you I’d never touched a Steel Drum, let alone seen one in real life, before tonight. They showed me a few things, I banged them out with no problem and perfect rhythm and BANG! I’m in! It’s pretty exciting and gives me something to look forward to. And it’s sooo much fun! It doesn’t do any miracles for my shoulder and back pain but the emotional benefits seem to outweigh the negative physical effects. We’re going to get together every Tuesday night from now until May, when we will participate in a Steel Drum Festival. I’m already nervous but I’m excited at the same time. I love music, I love playing music and I’m thrilled to be a part of a musical group once again. It’s also a plus that I’m learning a new instrument 🙂

Man, it’s been much too long since I’ve been this excited about something.

{September 3, 2013}   ~*Take My Time*~

Take My Time

{September 3, 2013}   What Women Have Gone Through

A few things I’ve wondered about and finally found the energy and attention span to research:


The first Push-Up Bra. Thank God for Victoria's Secret!

The first Push-Up Bra. Thank God for Victoria’s Secret!


The first modern bra was invented in 1889 by Herminie Cadolle in France. Cup sizes were introduced in 1933 by the S.H. Camp and Company when they correlated the size and pendulousness of women’s breast to letters of the alphabet, A through D.


Imagine having to wear this for one week every month?!

Imagine having to wear this for one week every month?!

That time of month? Run to the store on the corner and grab a box of tampons, panty liners or pads. Before the late 1920’s this wouldn’t have been possible because Tampons hadn’t yet been patented for mass production. In fact the Ancient Egyptians had made Tampons out of softened Papyrus. In Greece tampons were rigged out of lint wrapped around small pieces of wood. In Rome they used wool to make both pads and tampons. Less wealthy women used paper, animal skins, moss and grass. It wasn’t until 1896 that the first commercial sanitary napkins were available from Lister’s Towels. The first commercial Tampon was commercialized in 1931 by a Doctor Earl Haas. And finally, in 1969 StayFree introduced Minipads, the first sanitary napkin with adhesive so it would stick to panties without having to use belts, clips and safety pins. What a relief!



BCFrom 1930-1960 Lysol Disinfectant was used by many women as a contraceptive (at the same time it was being advertised as a bathroom and kitchen cleaner!), though it didn’t actually prevent pregnancy. The first birth control pill was approved by the FDA in 1960. Unfortunately, though it was effective for preventing pregnancy, many women suffered the severe side effects such as heart attacks and blood clots… because the dosage was actually ten times higher than it needed to be. It wasn’t until 1988 that a new, safer pill was approved by the FDA.


et cetera