notokinthehead











{March 29, 2014}   Girl With No Brain

Long story short… the guy I was letting stay with me in my house until he could get back on his feet has been anything but good company. The gist of my complaints are: 1. if I came home unexpectedly my entire house would reek of marijuana. Not cool. After being told that wasn’t ok, it continued happening. 2. Stuff started disappearing, like money, packs of cigarettes, prescription medications. 3. He has no vehicle and works about an hour from my house, he was constantly calling me at 10-11pm and asking for a ride because his planned ride bailed on him. Well, tonight was it. He texted me asking for a ride and I told him I couldn’t pick him up, my dog has had a bad case of diarrhea all day and I couldn’t leave him alone in the house or I’d be coming home to a big mess. He totally flipped, saying things like I can’t live there when I can never get to or from work, I can’t believe you’re choosing a dog over me, etc. I said fine, start looking for another place to stay. Then he really flipped saying I can’t throw him out, he has rights, he’ll call the police and tell them I gave him pills and he has the bottle to prove it (the one he stole, so after that comment there was no doubt he is the thief). So when he started throwing threats around I called the State Police. They came and looked over the text messages, checked my prescriptions and said if he shows up he will be arrested for criminal trespassing and if he has my meds on him he’ll be charged with theft and possession of controlled substances.
One of the Troopers made a comment that I really had to think about because I didn’t know how to react to it: You have a big heart, but a small brain. I’ve decided to take it as a compliment. I do tend to act on emotion and I apparently want to save the world, one person at a time, but I never stop to think about how helping someone else could potentially cause me harm.
Maybe one day my brain will be as big as my heart and I’ll be able to recognize who is worth helping and who is helpless, because if someone doesn’t want to put effort into helping themself, there’s nothing I can do to help them.
Another thing I have learned is if someone knows what’s truly important to you, they’ll go after it. And drug addicts and alcoholics will hate you for being successful and sober, so they will try to accuse you of doing the one thing they know best: drugs. Just a little note I’d like to add before closing- if you’re angry, step back and take a deep breath. Are you really angry at the other person or are you angry because you  f’ed up? I find more often than not that I’m really angry because I f’ed up, because I let that person take advantage of me, use me, because I knew that person had a bad history but I stupidly let them convince me that they’d changed.
One of the biggest challenges I’m finding in life is not letting the bad people make me bitter and risk losing out on the good people.



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