notokinthehead











{March 3, 2014}   Nothing’s Changed

For some reason I thought that having my own house, a cat, a dog and a life separate from everyone else would make me feel different. What kind of different, I don’t know. Maybe I expected it to make me feel special or “grown-up”. That’s not how I feel. I think I may have thought in the beginning that I finally had freedom and my own house to have freedom in, that I’d have friends over and get drunk and have parties. That is most definitely not the case. I think that despite having my own home, nothing has changed for me. I can say that since moving out of my parent’s house I feel better. Don’t get me wrong I love my Mom and Dad with all of my heart. However their house is full of twenty-three years of clutter and with all of the foot traffic it’s damn near impossible to keep up with the housework there. Here in my house I clean every day. There’s no clutter what-s0-ever. My counters are spotless, my floors are clean, there aren’t shoes covering the entryway, there’s no dishes overflowing my sink… and as an added bonus I don’t have to keep the volume down on the TV or stereo. I can wander my house all hours of the night and not worry about disturbing anyone.

So in reality, though on the surface it seems everything has changed for me- new friends, new home, new responsibilities, new dog, etc.- nothing has really changed. I’m still the same person, though I may have my shit together a little better now.

To top it all off… I now know that I’m a good person. I’ve rid myself of the toxic people in my life who were holding me down and preventing me from growing. I’m no longer running around and answering to their every beck and call. I was a good person before, I just didn’t see it because I was surrounding myself with bad people. What a difference it has made to rid myself of the toxic people in my life! I definitely suggest everyone try it.



{February 2, 2014}   Not in my Bed

image

Good God… I’m never getting laid again. Not in my lair anyway. My bed has clearly been taken over by much hair-ier creatures. I too must sleep curled up in a tiny ball to keep from being pushed onto the floor.
This must be what it’s like to have children.

P.S.
Don’t go getting all offended by the above content. I’m just saying what we’ve all thought at one time or another.



{October 20, 2013}   A Cat? A Dog? A Toddler?
Babe and I reading a book.

Babe and I reading a book.

My cat, Babe, doesn’t seem to know what she is. She looks like a cat, acts like a dog and sits like a toddler in it’s mother’s lap. However, Babe is my best friend in the world. She’s nonjudgmental, she loves me no matter what mood I’m in, she doesn’t nag or ask endless questions and she’s always loving. If Babe were a person instead of a cat she’d be my soul mate, not doubt.

This revelation comes at a time when I’m mourning a friendship that has recently ended. I was pretty much over it when it ended, it was me who said “enough, I can’t do this anymore”, but the former friend won’t let sleeping dogs lie. She is understandably angry about how the friendship suddenly ceased to be and it seems that every other day she is texting me something outrageous and accusing. This is very much the reason I had to end the friendship in the way that I did. She is mentally ill and refuses to seek help. Unfortunately, I cannot help her and I was hoping that by walking away like I did she would realize that her friends have disappeared one by one and by no one’s fault except her own, and somehow she would see that she needs to get help. So far it has not worked out that way. This evening while driving around and enjoying my music I received yet another unpleasant text from this woman. She is now accusing me of stealing $5,000 from her… last week. It’s been at least a month since I’ve seen her. She’s calling me every name in the book and then some and accusing me of stealing the money from her and threatening to call the police. Oh how I hope she does. It would make me feel better. I’ve done a lot for her in the past eight years and it really hurts that she would pull something like this. I wouldn’t take a penny from someone without asking and then I’d give them a dollar to pay them back. THAT’S the type of person I am. I guess the only thing I can do is ignore the texts and try to convince myself that she doesn’t matter and anyone who does matter won’t believe her absurd stories.

I’m learning that being a good person only gets you heartache and pain. At this rate I will be a bitter cat lady within the next five years.



{June 24, 2013}   Laugh Til You Cry

I did. This video had me laughing so hard! I can always count on YouTube to provide me with a good laugh!



et cetera