{October 16, 2013}   I’ve Been (Kinda) Published!

I contributed to this book, What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict by Alberta Sequeira. She is a very talented author and I think everyone should read this book. I feel very honored that she let me contribute to her book. I believe her book, as well as the public talks she gives, will help many, many people with their diseases, as well as the loved ones who are affected. I’m determined to help spread the word for this courageous, talented author and get her book known to many!

Here is the link to Amazon. Definitely check it out!

{January 29, 2013}   Ill Discoveries

Meaning things I discovered while in bed recuperating from that killer migraine and the exhausted laziness that settled in after it was gone.

1. I can watch all of the seasons of The L Word  for free on my Kindle using my Amazon Prime membership.

2. I can watch several gay/lesbian genre movies on my Kindle for free using my Amazon Prime membership.

3. I can stay in my room for two days straight and no one notices that I’m ‘missing’ (Hmmm, good or bad?).


And Then Came LolaLast night I watched a movie called And Then Came Lola (found under lesbian movies). It was a good movie. It’s a little bit confusing in the beginning because they do three different takes of the same scene throughout the movie. But once you figure it out it makes perfect sense. You’ll find yourself cheering on Lola and trying to tell her what to do differently (kind of like in horror movies when you find yourself yelling “don’t look behind the shower curtain fool!”). Don’t worry, she figures it out! The best thing about this lesbian drama is that it’s not all about sex and nudity. I can’t stand how so many lesbian movies portray lesbians as being horny sex toys. You do see some skin in this movie but there’s no real nudity. At least someone knows how to leave something to the imagination.

You should totally watch it. And you have no excuse not to if you have an Amazon Prime membership, because it’s free!

These Things Hidden

I just finished reading Heather Gudenkauf’s novel These Things Hidden. Excellent read! Just when you think you have the hidden things (secrets) figured out, she reveals the truths and they’re not at all what you expected. She keeps the mystery going, suspense-fully, right to the last page of the book. I can’t possibly give it a good enough review, you just have to read it for yourself.

My goal is to be completely lazy (except when my pager goes off) until I have to get my shit together to see my therapist Thursday morning. That gives me two days for myself, for my selfishness. I’ve been selfish a lot lately and I’m slowly learning to like it. That could be a good thing, or it could be a bad thing. I guess it depends on how you look at it, or how far I take it 😉

{January 11, 2013}   Epidemic!
The 2012 Influenza Virus under a super-powerful microscope. How is something so pretty so devastating? Sounds like some of the girls I've known. Hah!

The 2012 Influenza Virus under a super-powerful microscope. How is something so pretty so devastating? Sounds like some of the girls I’ve known. Hah!

Wow. There have been fourteen flu-related deaths in my state so far this flu season and they’re saying we’re not even in the flu season yet. Unfortunately this is why I have to skip out on so many EMS calls. I got the influenza and pneumonia vaccinations and so did my Mother, but the doctor still suggested we be careful because (in his words) “the flu this year is resisting the vaccinations”. So any general-sickness calls or calls where the patient tells dispatch that they have the flu or pneumonia, I can’t go. So that leaves me going to diabetic emergencies, car accidents and fires (that’s all we really get around here).

Now onto a completely different, much more interesting subject; I’m reading This Is How by Augusten Burroughs. It’s interesting in a much different way than his other books that I’ve read. “How To Find Love” is the most captivating and thought-provoking chapter that I’ve read yet (I’m about to start “How To Be Confident”). In it Augusten writes about how we are so caught up in our own routines that we’re basically keeping ourselves from finding our “soul mate”. He provides a few examples like if we go to the same convenient store and deal with the same clerk all the time, then we’re limiting ourselves socially.Augusten's This Is How He suggests stepping out of our comfort zones. Instead of going to that same Sunoco, try going to the Circle K down the street for once. To sum it up simply: if we have been going to the same places for X amount of time and haven’t found our “soul mate”, then chances are, we won’t find them in those places. I’m guilty as sin when it comes to routine. I always go to the same gas station (same old man taking my money), same grocery store (same old high-school drop-outs with their baby bumps) and the same convenient store for my cigarettes (same old ex-smoker who lectures me every time). There’s a reason behind it for me, though. Meeting new people and sticking my neck out there frightens me. Literally gives me those goose bumps I get when the house creaks all by itself in the middle of the night. But what’s stopping you? I might even give it a whirl, not to find love, but to maybe work on meeting new people for a change. I said maybe.

And I’m kind of excited for the next chapter- How To Be Confident.

{June 27, 2012}   New Book

I just returned from the library where I found a book titled “Ambulance Girl” by Jane Stern. This obviously caught my eye because of my new venture of becoming an EMT. I haven’t read it yet, but the inside flap summarizes the book:

“Five years ago Jane Stern was a walking encyclopedia of panic attacks, depression and hypochondria. Her marriage of more than thirty years was suffering, and she was virtually immobilized be fear and anxiety. As the daughter of parents who both died before she was thirty, Stern was terrified of illness and death, and despite the fact that her acclaimed career of a food and travel writer required her to spend a great deal of time on airplanes, she suffered from a persistent fear of flying and severe claustrophobia. But a strange thing happened one day on a plane that was grounded at the Minneapolis airport for six horrible, foodless, airless hours. A young man on a trip with his classmates suddenly became dizzy and pale because he hadn’t eaten in many hours, and there was no food left on the plane. Without thinking about it, Jane gave him the candy bar that she had in her purse. A short time later, the color had returned to his cheeks, the boy was laughing again with his friends, and Jane realized that this one small act of kindness— helping another person who was suffering— had provided her with comfort and a sense of well-being.

“It was shortly thereafter that this fifty-two-year-old writer decided to become an emergency medical technician, eventually coming to be known as Ambulance Girl. Stern tells her story with great humor and poignancy, creating a wonderful portrait of a middle-aged, Woody Allen-ish woman who was “deeply and neurotically terrified of sick and dead people”, but who went out into the world to save other people’s lives as a way of saving her own. Her story begins with the boot camp of EMT training: 140 hours at the hands of a dour ex-marine who took delight in presenting a veritable parade of amputations, hideous deformities, and gross disasters. Jane— overweight and badly out of shape— had to surmount physical challenges like carrying a 250-pound man seated in a chair down a dark flight of stairs. After class she did rounds in the emergency room of a local hospital, where she attended to a schizophrenic kick boxer who had tried to kill his mother that morning and a stockbroker who was taken off the commuter train to Manhattan with delirium tremens so bad it killed him.

“Each call Stern describes is a vignette of human nature, often with a life in the balance. From an AIDS hospice to town drunks, yuppie wife beaters to psychopaths, Jane comes to see the true nature and underlying mysteries of a town she had called home for twenty years. Throughout the book we follow her as she gets her sea legs and finally bonds with the burly, handsome firefighters who become her colleagues. At the end, she is named the first woman officer of the department— a triumph we joyously share with her.

“Ambulance Girl is an inspiring story by a woman who found, somewhat late in life, the “in helping others I learned to help myself.” It is a book to be treasured and shared.”

Can you imagine going from an anxious, depressed, rather agoraphobic mess to being an EMT? That is what I’m doing. I’m going to do it. And so far, so good. I have a theory about this: When my pager goes off with an emergency, someone needing help, my brain automatically enters a kind of “fight or flight” mode. I don’t have time to think about whether I’m going to go anywhere today, my mind doesn’t have the time to torture me with different, horrible scenarios. I don’t think about anything but getting to the scene and delivering all of the help I possibly can.

I’ll post about the book once I finish reading it.



{March 16, 2012}   Your Thoughts?

I have been toying with the idea of publishing a book of my poetry, or trying to, at least. I want people to read my words. I want people to connect with me through my writing. Based on what you have seen, what do think? I have much more poetry stored away in my notebooks. One of these days I should add them to this blog.

Do you think I have any chance at finding a publisher for my poetry? Or is it another pipe dream?

et cetera