{November 11, 2013}   My Playlist


“I’m gonna make it to the top, well let me show you, and if I’ve got to toughen up then that is what I’ll do, don’t make me a monster, baby, you’d be crazy, that’s for sure…” ~Jem

Nonessential information: I have a routine I must follow or I go completely ballistic- Go to Dunkin’ Donuts every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday night at ten o’clock in the evening to get my medium, hot, French Vanilla, extra-extra with a shot of espresso and three ice cubes. Then I sit in my car in the parking lot, listening to music, and drink exactly half of the coffee before taking the long way home. I need this time, this constant, or I go totally ape-shit.

My current playlist is:
1.) “24” by Jem
2.) “Good Enough” by Sarah McLaughlin
3.) “In the Arms of an Angel” by Sarah McLaughlin
4.) “Save Me” by Jem
5.) “Seduces Me” by Celine Dion
6.) “They” by Jem
7.) “Come Over Here” by Sarah Bettens
8.) “Dreamin’ of You” by Celine Dion
9.) “Adia” by Sarah McLaughlin
10.) “Do What You Have to Do” by Sarah McLaughlin
11.) “Falling Into You” by Celine Dion
12.) “Fire on the Mountain” by Rob Thomas
13.) “I Always Knew” by Jem
14.) “Just Stay Here Tonight” by Augustana
15.) “Thank You” by Dido

Because fifteen songs is way too many to post the videos of I chose a few of my favorites, three that really speak to me at the moment:

{June 13, 2013}   Lessons Learned

Recently I have first-handedly learned some new lessons. I’m not talking about the Portuguese that I’m learning, either.

coffee smileyI’ve always thought that there’s no such thing as too much coffee. I LOVE coffee. Coffee is in my blood, part of what makes up my DNA. But then I realized once you’ve had a lot of coffee and you go to make another pot of coffee but have trouble measuring the scoops because your hands are shaking too badly and you dump most of the water on the counter… it’s entirely possible to have too much coffee.


Chipmunks are cute. They fill their little cheeks up until it looks like they’re hiding balloons in there and they’ve got cute little stripes on their back and adorable, fluffy little tails. Aww! But they will climb your leg just as quickly and easily as they climb a tree. They have vicious little claws, like needles, attached to those cute little feet. They’re fast. They’re agile. They’re completely inconsiderate of anyone’s fears but their own. They’re ninjas.


gayBeing around gay people is still somewhat new to me. This one is like several lessons all rolled into one. 1.Lesbians seem to be possessive of their partners and it seems to me more so than heterosexual couples. When you’re staying in a house full of lesbians, be careful what you say or how you touch. 2.People have a way of knowing when you’re into their significant other. They won’t exactly be friendly to you, either. 3.Wearing nothing but a towel, fresh out of the shower, still sopping wet, will get you the attention you want 😉  Guaranteed. Just be careful (see 1. and 2. above). 4.When you sleep in the nude in a house full of people either, A.make sure the door is closed and locked, or B.make sure the person you’re bunking with isn’t a blanket hog.



If you do get attacked by a chipmunk and are not in a mood to be laughed at, think up a different story. Everyone will laugh. The receptionists, the nurses, the doctors, the lab technicians and anyone else who finds out. And when they finally pull themselves together and stop laughing, they will look at you again and burst out in another fit of laughter.





“… when the moment is not right, and the timing is quite unusual…” ~Train (Meet Virginia) At 01:00 I found myself grabbing my car keys and sneaking out of the house. In pain, mind racing, I decided it was a good idea to go to Dunkin’ Donuts and grab a coffee: hot French vanilla turbo, extra-extra. I probably didn’t need the turbo, but it adds a nice bitterness that the “extra-extra” takes away from the coffee. Coffee in hand, MP3 player blasting angry rap, I decided to drive around for awhile. I must say, I have pretty impressive rapping skills, for a white girl. Usually a drive at night by myself listening to music will quiet the static in my head. The static being all of the random, stressful thoughts that race through my head at mind boggling speeds. It didn’t work for me tonight (blame it on the turbo?) even though I drove around for a little over two hours. I am so pleased with the gas mileage I get in my new car: 20-25 mpg vs 12-14 mpg in my old truck. I don’t feel so guilty about driving around any more. Some of the thoughts rolling around in my head tonight/this morning: *My first time ever taking minutes at a meeting is Thursday night, and the meeting will be aired on public television. Do I really think I’m capable of this new job? Am I capable to do this new job??? *Why is it that I’m always attracted to women who are married to or involved with a man? And women who are like ten years my senior? *How can I achieve a “normal” sleep pattern? Would it be really fucked up if I took sleeping pills every four to five hours so I can sleep through a day and a night? *What will it take to fix my shoulder and back problems? Am I just always going to be in pain? Can I live out my career as a firefighter/EMT as I so badly want to, or are these issues going to break me? *I’m stuck baby sitting my six year old niece all day Friday, on my birthday, what can I do with her? She’d happily sit inside on the couch all day playing on the tablet. How do you cure a child of the technology epidemic? Especially when it has it’s talons in you, also. I could go on and on, but the speed with which these thoughts zip through my mind makes it hard to keep up, and it’s a bunch of nonsense. If only my insurance wasn’t so fucked up I could get my medications and relax my brain. A little bit of Klonopin goes a long way. “Sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you to try to find that inner strength, and just pull that shit outta you, and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.” ~Eminem (Til I Collapse)

et cetera