{September 7, 2013}   Terrible Case of the Hiccups

Driving home tonight- my stereo blasting, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and I suddenly see blue lights flashing up ahead. Out of habit I put my coffee down, stub out my cigarette and turn the stereo off, all in one swift motion. I slow down as I approach the blue lights, spot a pink sign reading โ€œSOBRIETY CHECKPOINT AHEAD” and, coincidentally, start hiccuping. Two Police Officers waved me to the side of the road, I lowered my window and greeted them as one shone his light in my face and the other inside my car. I prayed, please don’t hiccup again! Oops, too late. And just like on the COPS television show they had me step out of the vehicle and asked my permission to search my car. Yeah I have nothing to hide (hup). โ€œWhere are you coming from? (Coffee-hup-place) Where are you going? (Ho-hup-me) Have you been drinking tonight? (No-hup-Sir) Have you used any illegal substances? (Hup-No)”. Then the pat down. Finally the Officer asking all of the questions runs my license and registration just as the other Officer pops out of my car with my pistol… Oh crap. It’s all legal, it’s registered and I have a concealed carry permit, however their protocols require them to check the pistols serial numbers to make sure it’s not stolen and that it hasn’t been used to commit a crime. They went so far as to tear my turn-out gear apart and dump my boots upside down. Forty-five minutes after I stubbed out my cigarette I was free to go. I got back in my car, my coffee was ice cold and I discovered that that was my last cigarette.
So something as simple as having the hiccups at the exact wrong time can cause quite the headache.

{May 27, 2013}   My Friends Live in my TV

I’ve never been a big television viewer. However, I’ve gotten into a few. Thank God for DVR and on-demand. I remember the days when you had to plan your life around General Hospital’s schedule. Here are my favorite, must watch shows:

The reason I love this show is rather obvious...

The reason I love this show is rather obvious…

I’m a little bit saddened by the season finale this week. The show won’t be back until the fall ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Also obvious why I love this show...

Also obvious why I love this show…

I know that the show is over, but I still watch the episodes over and over again. I found a rumor online that they’re making a movie for The L Word. I wonder if it’s true? I hope so!

Medical drama's, some of the best TV ever.

Medical drama’s, some of the best TV ever.

Another show that has stressed me out because the season finale just aired last week.

More medical drama.

More medical drama.

It’s not just a medical drama like ER. It carries lessons and gives a peek into the political aspect of being a hospital doctor.

Women in uniform... kicking ass... need I say more?

Women in uniform… kicking ass… need I say more?

Police Women of Dallas, Cincinnati, Memphis, Orange County… you name it I love it.

I love cop shows. If I weren't a firefighter/EMT I'd be a police officer.

I love cop shows. If I weren’t a firefighter/EMT I’d be a police officer.

Like the original Cops, only faster chases, crazier drugs and better video quality. And who doesn’t love Inner Circle’s Bad Boys?

Chelsea Handler is both my idol and my fantasy. An outspoken, down-to-earth woman. I never miss an episode of Chelsea Lately!

Chelsea Handler is both my idol and my fantasy. An outspoken, down-to-earth woman. I never miss an episode of Chelsea Lately!

I actually had a dream the night before last that I flew out to California to stay at Chelsea Handler’s house. It was a totally innocent dream. There were several people out on a deck and we were seated at a big table having a nice cookout. It was a good dream. My dreams usually revolve around my job and are more like nightmares about bad car accidents and seriously psychotic people going off the handle.

My friends live in my TV. Sadly, the drama in these shows sometimes becomes very real and I find myself worrying about the characters while I’m dealing with reality. Don’t worry, though, ’cause I’m not crazy I’m just not-OK-in-the-head!







{March 22, 2013}   Good Cop, Bad Cop

Tonight I went for a ride along with one of our Police Sergeants. It was rather uneventful. We pulled over seven cars for speeding but he doesn’t ticket people! He doesn’t even pull them over unless they’re doing 12+ mph over the limit. So I was trying to get him to stop people and ticket just ONE, but he wouldn’t do it. We had a call for a domestic dispute with shots fired but got there to find out that two little kids were beating on a plastic toy with a baseball bat. Not a lot of action, but I found out a lot about our residents and he invited me back to ride again. I will definitely take him up on it!

It was a good night. A very good night ๐Ÿ™‚

{March 18, 2013}   Bad Girl to Good Girl


Wow, I’ve come a long way. In fact I’ve come from sitting in the back of a police cruiser a few years ago to riding shotgun with one of our finest. I just got off the phone with one of the Sergeants and he’s going to pick me up Friday night at 18:00 so I can ride around with him and possibly bust a few people. I’m so excited. I was going to ride with our female officer but she’s working week nights now and in our small town all of the exciting things happen on the weekend nights. So I happily accepted his offer for Friday. Maybe another time I can wiggle my way into her passenger seat.

It’s funny how some excitement can bring you loads of energy. Now what to do with it? Laundry? Paperwork? Boxing!

et cetera