{September 7, 2013}   Terrible Case of the Hiccups

Driving home tonight- my stereo blasting, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and I suddenly see blue lights flashing up ahead. Out of habit I put my coffee down, stub out my cigarette and turn the stereo off, all in one swift motion. I slow down as I approach the blue lights, spot a pink sign reading “SOBRIETY CHECKPOINT AHEAD” and, coincidentally, start hiccuping. Two Police Officers waved me to the side of the road, I lowered my window and greeted them as one shone his light in my face and the other inside my car. I prayed, please don’t hiccup again! Oops, too late. And just like on the COPS television show they had me step out of the vehicle and asked my permission to search my car. Yeah I have nothing to hide (hup). “Where are you coming from? (Coffee-hup-place) Where are you going? (Ho-hup-me) Have you been drinking tonight? (No-hup-Sir) Have you used any illegal substances? (Hup-No)”. Then the pat down. Finally the Officer asking all of the questions runs my license and registration just as the other Officer pops out of my car with my pistol… Oh crap. It’s all legal, it’s registered and I have a concealed carry permit, however their protocols require them to check the pistols serial numbers to make sure it’s not stolen and that it hasn’t been used to commit a crime. They went so far as to tear my turn-out gear apart and dump my boots upside down. Forty-five minutes after I stubbed out my cigarette I was free to go. I got back in my car, my coffee was ice cold and I discovered that that was my last cigarette.
So something as simple as having the hiccups at the exact wrong time can cause quite the headache.

et cetera