notokinthehead











{March 3, 2014}   Nothing’s Changed

For some reason I thought that having my own house, a cat, a dog and a life separate from everyone else would make me feel different. What kind of different, I don’t know. Maybe I expected it to make me feel special or “grown-up”. That’s not how I feel. I think I may have thought in the beginning that I finally had freedom and my own house to have freedom in, that I’d have friends over and get drunk and have parties. That is most definitely not the case. I think that despite having my own home, nothing has changed for me. I can say that since moving out of my parent’s house I feel better. Don’t get me wrong I love my Mom and Dad with all of my heart. However their house is full of twenty-three years of clutter and with all of the foot traffic it’s damn near impossible to keep up with the housework there. Here in my house I clean every day. There’s no clutter what-s0-ever. My counters are spotless, my floors are clean, there aren’t shoes covering the entryway, there’s no dishes overflowing my sink… and as an added bonus I don’t have to keep the volume down on the TV or stereo. I can wander my house all hours of the night and not worry about disturbing anyone.

So in reality, though on the surface it seems everything has changed for me- new friends, new home, new responsibilities, new dog, etc.- nothing has really changed. I’m still the same person, though I may have my shit together a little better now.

To top it all off… I now know that I’m a good person. I’ve rid myself of the toxic people in my life who were holding me down and preventing me from growing. I’m no longer running around and answering to their every beck and call. I was a good person before, I just didn’t see it because I was surrounding myself with bad people. What a difference it has made to rid myself of the toxic people in my life! I definitely suggest everyone try it.



{July 19, 2013}   ~*New Beginnings*~

The sky blackens with threatening clouds
the breeze becomes a violent wind
the hair on my arms stand up
my pulse quickened.

I watch the lightning strike
feel th thunder rattle my bones
I close my eyes to the flashes
feel the cool rain on my skin.

The sun peaks through cracks in the clouds
thunder fades and birds are singing
tiny beads of water coat the foliage
the summer storm has passed…
… leaving life in it’s path.



{April 2, 2013}   *~Angels In Blue~*

The blood drains
like ink from my pen
flesh fades to white
I have no feeling left.

I breathe in
emotions run rampant
I breathe out
I’m bleeding out.

I struggle for one last breath
A calm comes over me
As I embrace this early death
I close my eyes and just bleed.

My chest gets crushed
Over and over
They won’t give up.

I feel a strike like lightning
I’m jolted back to life
My eyes are just slits
but I can see he’s smiling.

My lungs inflate, fill
he’s smiling, still.

Today I died
Today I came back to life
“Hang on Sweetie, you’re pulling through”
Today I met Angels dressed in blue.



{March 16, 2013}   Fight For Your Life

That’s pretty much the pep talk my Chief gave us prior to this morning’s Town Meeting. We’re in desperate need of a new or used fire truck but the Selectmen have all but told us “tough shit”. We are fighting for our lives… the attack pumper we have now has a broken frame and if it lets go while we’re screaming down the road with 2500 gallons of water on it the chances of us surviving are very little to none. Unfortunately, this town’s taxpayers are wary of having their taxes go up by $14 a year. Again, unfortunately, we’re risking our lives on a daily basis for them but they hold little regard to ours.

The meeting will be a war zone this morning. To top it all off my Chief has planned battle with my Mother. He has her planning to speak up about how two of her children are on that truck at any given time. Everyone knows how volatile my Mother is. I dare someone to challenge her.



{March 9, 2013}   Save A Life

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Reminder to all: When you change your clocks this evening, change the batteries in your smoke and CO detectors also. It can save your life, your loved ones lives and even your home!

We recently had a fatal house fire in a neighboring town. The homeowner’s daughter was rescued from the roof of the attached garage. Her father didn’t make it. They found that none of the smoke detectors in the residence were in working order. Had they been checked and the batteries replaced the man would have heard them and he and his daughter’s chances of making it out safely would have been much better. It only takes five minutes guy’s!!!



et cetera