{July 16, 2013}   Drug Addict’s Candy Store


I imagine that from the outside looking in I appear to be a sort of candy store for drug addicts.
Yesterday I went against myself on my stand against taking narcotics. The pain in my shoulder was so excruciating it woke me up around 05:30 and I actually cried from it. So I called my doctor and she gave me some Vicodyn. I’ve been taking, too. It’s finally gotten to the point where I’m in too much pain to go on emergency calls anyway, so I may as well take the pain killers, right? I don’t like the way the Vicodyn makes my head feel though. I’m still trying to decide if the minimal amount of pain relief that it provides is worth feeling drugged. I’m such a light weight. I didn’t sleep well at all last night, I tossed and turned, cried a little from frustration and pain and finally fell into a restless sleep sometime just before 05:00 this morning.
98°F Outside, 94°F in my room right now. Between the heat and humidity and the Vicodyn I’ll probably be passed out soon. On the bright side of things my ice pack is multifunctional today 🙂

I started Prozac yesterday. Yay me. It’s supposed to calm my moods down and ease my temper. I guess we’ll see what happens. They said it usually takes four to six weeks before you notice a difference.

On the other hand… I want to beat the shit out of my cousin who’s also a roommate. And I don’t have a very good reason. She pissed me off because she gave me a couple pairs of jeans a few months ago because I gained weight and can no longer fit in my jeans (sizes four-six). She gave me some size nines and they were a little loose on me but they were comfortable. This morning, she comes into my room (I hate people in my room) and takes the jeans back. So now I have to lose weight or walk around naked. I can afford to lose fifteen to twenty pounds, but it would be nice to have some pants until I drop the weight. Now I’m screwed. The worst part is that she thinks she can wear those size nines (they’re juniors), but she’s too heavy (185 lbs at 5’2”). So she really just took them back to be a bitch.
Oh, the pointless things I complain about. More often than not, I wish I could get away from myself. I can just imagine how the people around me feel. Eh.

On a positive note- I got rather drunk last night and I enjoyed every second of it. I love my wine. I slept like a rock and didn’t wake up until about noon time today. It was awesome. The pain in my body today tells me it was a bad idea, but I think it was worth it.

et cetera