{December 23, 2013}   Namesake

Today my Grammy, and my namesake, would have been ninety-one years old. However for the last five (almost six) years she has been celebrating eternal youth with my Grampa in Heaven. So here’s my message to my Grammy:

Happy Birthday, Grammy. Even though I miss you every day I know you and Grampa are happy, forever healthy and forever young in Heaven. I know you want me to take my time but I honestly can’t wait to see you again. And when we do meet again we will have some epic game tournaments, all of our favorites: Scrabble, Cribbage, Skip-Bo, Pokeno, etc. We’ll get the whole family together and maybe I can finally talk you into playing a game of Monopoly! Until then I always have you with me. I know you don’t really approve of tattoos but I have two Guardian Angels on my shoulders: you and Grampa. Give him a hug for me. I love you. Happy Birthday.

“There’s holes in the floor of Heaven and she’s watching over you and me…” ~Collin Rate, Holes in the Floor of Heaven

Grammy: 12/22/1922 – 01/20/2008

{July 16, 2013}   Drug Addict’s Candy Store


I imagine that from the outside looking in I appear to be a sort of candy store for drug addicts.
Yesterday I went against myself on my stand against taking narcotics. The pain in my shoulder was so excruciating it woke me up around 05:30 and I actually cried from it. So I called my doctor and she gave me some Vicodyn. I’ve been taking, too. It’s finally gotten to the point where I’m in too much pain to go on emergency calls anyway, so I may as well take the pain killers, right? I don’t like the way the Vicodyn makes my head feel though. I’m still trying to decide if the minimal amount of pain relief that it provides is worth feeling drugged. I’m such a light weight. I didn’t sleep well at all last night, I tossed and turned, cried a little from frustration and pain and finally fell into a restless sleep sometime just before 05:00 this morning.
98°F Outside, 94°F in my room right now. Between the heat and humidity and the Vicodyn I’ll probably be passed out soon. On the bright side of things my ice pack is multifunctional today 🙂

{June 15, 2013}   Weird Facts About Me

Here are some things a lot of people don’t know about me (and probably don’t care to):

1.) Elvis Presley is my all-time favorite music artist. EVER.

2.) I play the violin and piano (I’m a little dorky sometimes).

3.) I’ve seen the following in concert: The Charlie Daniels Band, Jo Dee Messina, Terri Clark (twice), Big ‘N’ Rich, Luke Bryan and Saving Abel.

4.) I still sleep with the receiving blanket that I came home from the hospital in twenty-four years ago. I call it my “blanky”. Original, I know 😉

5.) I will only drink from glass or a ceramic mug (no cans, plastic, cardboard or Styrofoam).

6.) I listen to country (classic and modern) and rock (classic and modern) but I can rap like nobody’s business!

7.) I’m more masculine than any of my brothers but if I see a spider or a rodent I scream like a little girl and run as if my life depends on it. I actually believe my life does depend on it.

8.) I have to sleep with a nightlight on.

9.) I’ve won a spelling bee and two shooting (rifle) competitions.

10.) I’ve broken the following bones: left radius (wrist) three times, left thumb once, left pinky-knuckle/hand once, fractured my skull, fractured three ribs and chipped my tailbone.

11.) I’ve had stitches in my head twice, my arm once, my hand twice and my leg twice.

{February 23, 2013}   Winter Just Wasn’t My Season

kissesI had fun last night. With the exception of the gay kid we lent a ride to. He ended up getting plastered very quickly and rubbing his ass on my face a good portion of the night. Um, I’m not a dog! I don’t want anyone’s ass on my face. I had four beers, Bud Light of course, and saw a friend I haven’t seen in many months. The drive sucks, though. It’ll be a while before I go there again :/

Note: kissing random chicks at the bar earns you free drinks for the night 😉

Stubby went home last night. I kind of feel bad because they are planning on taking him to a shelter (the reason I took him in the first place) but I can’t risk the health of my Babe to save another cat. Not to mention Stubby sharpened his nails on every piece of furniture and doorway in my house and we couldn’t keep him off the kitchen counter (gross, our food is made there!). He’s a sweet, loving, beautiful cat who shouldn’t have much trouble finding another home. Bonus: He’s a pure-bred Maine Coon- a pricey, popular breed.

My punching bag came in yesterday 🙂  But my gloves aren’t here yet 😦  Patience: not my best quality by a long shot.

Today’s plans: nothing. I’m going to try to keep it that way.

I’ll leave you with the song of the day (a favorite of mine that a friend sang for me last night at karaoke):

{February 20, 2013}   Status: Soon-To-Be Cat Lady

Guess who came home with me when I finished house sitting? That cute, loving, adorable cat, Stubby:


Stubby stealing my heating pad and burying his head under my butt.

His name is Stubby because he’s a Maine Coon Cat and the breeders cut his tail off to a little stub when he was a tiny kitten. I think that’s cruel, myself. But it’s cute because his little stub does a little wiggle. He and Babe are trying to establish the Alpha at this point so they’re not really getting along. It seems they decide to fight most in the middle of the night when they both want to be in bed with me… ugh.

My little “relaxing” weekend didn’t go as planned. It was still relaxing, though. I didn’t read as much as I had planned to read… because I spent most of the weekend watching the full seasons of The L Word on my Kindle. So it was still a good weekend.

On Sunday we had three first alarms, two of them at the same time. All turned out to be simple calls, but it made for a hectic afternoon and evening. Since my lazy weekend I’ve had trouble getting my ass in gear. I went to physical therapy on Monday and it killed me. I haven’t been to any calls since then and I feigned a headache to skip out on my meeting at the hospital last night. I have a feeling my EMS coordinator is probably going to give me a hard time the next time I do show up but even that isn’t enough motivation for me to get my shit together. I get the feeling that I’m really screwing up. To top it all off, I lost my insurance so I’m quitting physical therapy ($210/week). Another issue with physical therapy is I’m very attracted to my physical therapist and we all know how that ended for me last time. Maybe I have a weird fetish for PT’s? All I know is I both can’t stand to spend those two hours per week with her and I can’t wait until the next appointment. Sigh.

Tonight I have enough motivation to go play some board and card games. Maybe it’s just responsibility that I’m having a hard time grasping right now?


{February 15, 2013}   Mini Vaca? Yes, Please!
This is where you'll find me this weekend!

This is where you’ll find me this weekend!

I’m going to house sit for my brother and his wife while they are on a romantic get-away this weekend. The best part? It’s a mini vacation for me! There’s no cell service and it’s far enough away that if there were any signals, I wouldn’t be able to respond to calls 🙂  So it’s going to be a quiet “me” weekend. I’m going to have lots of quiet time to read on my Kindle and just do nothing. Well, I’ll have to feed the wood stove and the cats, but other than that… I’m free! It’s the simple things I’m looking forward to: taking as much time in the shower as I want! Reading for as long as I want with no interruptions! Sleeping whenever I feel like it… for as long as I’d like! And best of all… the quiet seclusion!!!

Oh man, I’ve needed this for so long! There isn’t even cable TV, just Wi-fi. Ahh. Hope you all have a good weekend!

{February 10, 2013}   One Year, One Day

Blizzard 2013

Yesterday WordPress informed me that it was my one-year anniversary in the blogging world. Unfortunately, we had a State of Emergency and I did not have the time/chance to write a decent blog marking the milestone. I had to do a 24-hour shift at the department and I hope to not have to do that again! Military cots are awful (no one ever mentions that when they talk about our men and women across seas!), I’ve never shoveled so much in my life (had to keep the bay doors cleared and the Town Road Crew couldn’t keep up with it) and one of our EMS teams buried our ambulance in a snowbank. What a shift it was! Needless to say, in a mere twenty-four hours I undid all of my physical therapists hard work. Oops. Now I am exhausted so I’ll try to keep it somewhat short and sweet. Here are the big things that I learned and have impacted me in the last year since I began my blog:

I joined my town’s fire department and took an EMT course. On that same note, I became the department’s #2 responder and administrative assistant, as well as the only female firefighter/EMT on the department. I completed a driving course and received a certificate enabling me to drive any fire/rescue apparatus in three states in New England.

I moved back to my parent’s house. What more is there to say about that? I’m comfortable and content here… don’t judge.

I lost my best friend but gained much knowledge in how relationships are supposed to work. I learned that I’m not going to be happy when I give and give and get nothing but sh*t in return. That’s a big step!

I learned that BEING someone really does have to do with the company you keep. If you want to be a respected and valued person in your community, you need to surround yourself with the same. Not drunks and dead-beats. Alcohol will get you nowhere but down.

The Police really are your friends, not your enemies. I let the actions of a few blind me to the good ones. I’m proud to say that I am now friends with all five police officers in my town as well as a few State Troopers. In EMS they are, in fact, our bulletproof vests, our angels. They are human and, like me and you, make mistakes.

I was a part of my brother’s elaborate wedding proposal which included the fire department’s apparatus and half of the fire department. I’m going to have a new sister-in-law on June first! (I actually like this one, hehe)

I chopped my long hair off! And I love it!!! (Of course I donated it to breast cancer patients)

I bought a new car and got rid of my old truck.

My family received the news of my Mother’s terminal illness. Then we received the news that instead of having only a few years… she could have ten or more!

One of the most important things, if not the most important, that has happened to me in the last year since I began blogging is gaining my new “family” in the fire department. There’s nothing like knowing you’d give your life for someone without a second thought and knowing that they would do the same. Nothing compares to that.

That completes my list, though I could go on and on. I have no song for today, but here are a couple of music videos I really like:



{February 8, 2013}   One Year

Female FFWordPress informed me that today marks my one year anniversary blogging. Wow time goes by fast! A lot has happened and to mark this milestone I’d really like to add up the important things. Maybe tomorrow, though, for we are under a State of Emergency (thank you, Nemo!) and it’s required that we all be at the station for at least the next twenty-four hours beginning at six o’clock tonight. It’s going to make for a very long night/day. We have little fold-up cots to sleep on and my back is not looking forward to it. At least, being the only female, I get to make the office into my own little temporary bedroom while the guys bunk in the conference room (maybe I won’t hear their snoring, haha). This will be my first all-hands mandatory over-night stay. I’ve stayed one time before, for Hurricane Sandy, but it was just two of us. I imagine it will be sort of like a dorm. One of my Lieutenants has all of the meals planned, dinner tonight, breakfast tomorrow, lunch tomorrow and all kinds of snacks in between. I’m nervous and maybe a little uncomfortable, but I trust these guys with my life (I have to, and I know they trust me with theirs) so it’ll be okay. Maybe even a little bit fun. Aside from the stack of reports I’ve been neglecting for almost two weeks now.

I think I’m well prepared. Aside from the clothing necessities I have my MP3 player. headphones and Kindle to kill boredom. Oh, and my Emergency Medical Services Monopoly game! 😀

Stay safe everyone! Especially those of you on the East coast!

{February 5, 2013}   Treating Myself= Things Go Wrong

I treated myself to a Black Widow .22 Mag this morning. Nice, small and concealable. It will probably become my carry gun in place of my bulky .9mm Glock.

Black Widow .22

I was (am still) pretty excited about it. But when I arrived home from my Uncle’s birthday party this evening two of my brothers and my parents were sitting around the kitchen table. My Mother was unhappy with me because I mentioned to one of my brothers that she was smoking again. My other brother was mad at me because I mentioned (for the first time!) that he owes me $400.00 for putting oil in his tank because he was flat broke. He stormed out of the house. My Father was mad at me because simply by walking in I managed to cause all of that drama. I wish that I hadn’t bothered to come home tonight until my parents were in bed and no one was around.

I begin physical therapy again tomorrow. My heart is not in it at all.

Today’s song:

{February 3, 2013}   Super Bowl Fail!

footballThe only thing I ever accomplished with a “pig skin” was breaking my Mother’s kitchen window when I was about eight years old. Then I ran like hell.

The ‘party’ sucked. Well, it didn’t start out that way. I was actually enjoying it, playing on my Kindle when the game was on and then watching the commercials. My favorite commercial was the M&M one:

I laughed my ass off when I saw it. I’m still giggling over it!

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I left right after the half-time show. I was sitting on one end of the couch when the person in the middle passed out drunk, literally slobbering all over herself and snoring. The person on the other end thought it would be funny (he was also shit-faced) to push her over into my lap. So he pushed her. And she landed in my lap, slobber and all. It grossed me out (I was one of the only two sober people there) and I got mad and decided it was a good time for me to leave. So here I am. And it’s bed time because I have to get up in the morning for an appointment at the pain clinic. I don’t have a song for today but I saw this on FaceBook and thought I’d share it with you:


et cetera