notokinthehead











{September 21, 2013}   Puppets

puppetSo I have a good friend who’s having a hard time right now. I think it would be safe to say that she’s having a bit of a mental breakdown. I’ve been there for her every day, until I had to have thirty injections in my back and have been legitimately drugged up. All of a sudden I’m the enemy. I’m a liar, I’m selfish and I don’t care about her or what she’s going through. ARGH! Finally last night I had to shut my phone off and avoid all social media. I got to my breaking point, she pushed me over the edge. Then tonight I’m hanging out with a friend and she starts texting my friend telling him how I blew her off and all of a sudden I don’t have any time for her, etc. I don’t have the patience for this crap. I’m in pain.

Being friends with her is like being a puppet on a string. Anybody who is friends with her is her puppet on a string. She says who I can and cannot be friends with, where I can and cannot go and when I’m going to do this and that. Maybe I am being selfish in the way that I’m not going to answer to anyone. I’m my own person and will do and see who I please, whenever I want. I’m single and I have ZERO responsibilities. That’s how I like it.

So tonight I’m struggling with writing her an email explaining that I do love her, she’s like a big sister to me, but I can’t play all these games. I won’t play all of these games. Take me or leave me, but I’m not a puppet on a string and I won’t listen to the b.s. that results from me doing what I want to do.



{January 29, 2013}   Ill Discoveries

Meaning things I discovered while in bed recuperating from that killer migraine and the exhausted laziness that settled in after it was gone.

1. I can watch all of the seasons of The L Word  for free on my Kindle using my Amazon Prime membership.

2. I can watch several gay/lesbian genre movies on my Kindle for free using my Amazon Prime membership.

3. I can stay in my room for two days straight and no one notices that I’m ‘missing’ (Hmmm, good or bad?).

 

And Then Came LolaLast night I watched a movie called And Then Came Lola (found under lesbian movies). It was a good movie. It’s a little bit confusing in the beginning because they do three different takes of the same scene throughout the movie. But once you figure it out it makes perfect sense. You’ll find yourself cheering on Lola and trying to tell her what to do differently (kind of like in horror movies when you find yourself yelling “don’t look behind the shower curtain fool!”). Don’t worry, she figures it out! The best thing about this lesbian drama is that it’s not all about sex and nudity. I can’t stand how so many lesbian movies portray lesbians as being horny sex toys. You do see some skin in this movie but there’s no real nudity. At least someone knows how to leave something to the imagination.

You should totally watch it. And you have no excuse not to if you have an Amazon Prime membership, because it’s free!

These Things Hidden

I just finished reading Heather Gudenkauf’s novel These Things Hidden. Excellent read! Just when you think you have the hidden things (secrets) figured out, she reveals the truths and they’re not at all what you expected. She keeps the mystery going, suspense-fully, right to the last page of the book. I can’t possibly give it a good enough review, you just have to read it for yourself.

My goal is to be completely lazy (except when my pager goes off) until I have to get my shit together to see my therapist Thursday morning. That gives me two days for myself, for my selfishness. I’ve been selfish a lot lately and I’m slowly learning to like it. That could be a good thing, or it could be a bad thing. I guess it depends on how you look at it, or how far I take it 😉



et cetera