notokinthehead











{January 6, 2014}   Early Bird
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My drive and the sunrise Friday morning. Gorgeous after getting a foot of snow overnight!

We’ve gotten a lot of snow over the last week. Between two storms we got just over two feet of it.
I saw a surgeon last Monday and he backed out of doing my surgery because it’s “beyond his scope”. So Friday morning I saw another surgeon and he’s willing to operate on my shoulder. I have a SLAP (superior labrum anterior to posterior) tear that involves the bicep tendon. I go in Thursday morning for the operation that is expected to take four to six hours. In addition to anchoring the labrum he has to cut my upper arm open, cut the bicep tendon, grind a chunk of bone from my humorous and reattach the tendon to my humorous. The surgeon expects the recovery to take anywhere from six to twelve months, the first three of which will be spent with my dominant arm in a rigid brace instead of a sling.
I will have a lot of time to think, that’s for sure. I won’t be able to do much of anything else. Even driving is out if the question for as long as I’m in the brace 😦
BUT… I will come back stronger than ever!



{December 18, 2013}   Making a Comeback

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I had surgery yesterday morning. Nothing major, but enough to put me out of work for awhile. I’m supposed to be in the sling for at least a week, when I see the doc on Monday. Honestly I’ll probably be out of it by tomorrow night. It’s such a pain in the ass. Especially since I’m living alone now. I’m tough though, it’s nothing I can’t handle.
Tomorrow I see the cardiologist and his team for a Stress-Echocardiogram. He’ll be pissed that I’ve been working for the past three weeks when I’m supposed to be on bed rest. I had a small setback, what they called a “cardiac event”, where I sustained left anterior ischemia (lack of oxygen to the heart, which we all know is a muscle, and muscles require oxygen or they atrophy and die. The heart doesn’t atrophy, it just stops beating). Anyway tomorrow’s test will determine whether the ischemia is reversible using medication or if I’m just fucked. Wish me luck!
There’s no possible way I’m sleeping tonight, between the pain and anxiety, and if it was a little warmer than -13°F I’d go for a drive. But it’s too damned cold so I guess I’ll be reading and having some intimate time with my heating pad (the muscles in my arm, neck and back are spasming like crazy).
I’m also going to have some hard cider and toast to Making a Comeback!



{May 30, 2013}   A Room With a View

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My friend’s surgery went well. We’re now in a private room with a great view (see photo)!
Well at least her nurse is attractive. I almost wish I was the patient.
Since the surgery went so well the surgeon said we may be able to go home tonight. I sure hope so because these city “views” just are not cutting it. I want to go home to the woods. And this recliner/bed thingy they have for me to sleep on isn’t doing my body any favors. I guess I will just be glad I’m not the one stuck in the bed.



{May 28, 2013}   My Girl

I’m humming The Temptations song now.
I think it’s sweet that Babe always curls up with the clothes I wore all day. It must be because they smell like me. Kind of like when I was little and I’d wear my Dad’s t-shirts as night shirts because they “smelled like Daddy”.

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Babe curled up on my jeans, sleeping soundly.

My only complaint today is that I’m going on 34 hours without sleep. The pain makes any attempt at restful sleep impossible. I’m so exhausted I’ve been sick to my stomach.

The next four days are going to be very busy and long. Tomorrow I have a meeting at the Fire Station, then physical therapy followed by a visit to the pain clinic.  Then I have to get up at 04:30 Thursday morning to take my best friend for surgery, where I will stay the night with her and bring her home Friday afternoon. Then Saturday is the big day- my brother is getting married!

It will be a miracle if I don’t have a meltdown before it’s all over. It doesn’t take much to overwhelm me.



{February 16, 2012}   Then I Really Got Hurt

I got to hang out in here today... yuck.

No Pain, No Gain…

and got to spend a few hours in a room like this today. Not much fun. They gave me anesthesia which knocked me for a loop,but didn’t knock me out. They did a nerve block that numbed and paralyzed my right shoulder down to my right hip. Talk about a weird feeling. Then they did several injections of steroids and some other complicated word all over the right side of my back, neck, shoulder and right ribcage, as well as small incisions to get access to my muscles. I’m still very groggy, but also nauseous from the anesthesia. The right side of my ribcage looks like I ate a child’s arm from all of the swelling. The best part- they wouldn’t give me anything for the pain once I left the hospital! They sent me on my way with a nice little warning: “I may have punctured your right lung. If you stop breathing, call 911. Ha! So on top of feeling sick I’m also in a lot of pain. All I want to do is sleep, but I can’t relax with so much pain.



et cetera