{July 16, 2012}   Getting Nervous

My EMT class starts tomorrow and I’m getting nervous. Crazy thoughts keep going through my mind like: Once I’m certified, peoples lives will be in my hands. What if I screw up and do more harm than good? What if I overlook the smallest thing and the patient pays the price?

I wonder if this is normal for soon-to-be EMTs? At this point I’m lacking the confidence that it’s going to take to be a good EMT. Or student, for that matter. I’m told the class that I’m attending is a large one with a lot of students. That makes me nervous, I do better in more intimate settings. I’m praying that I can keep my anxiety at bay so I can get through this class.

On the bright side I see my psychotherapist this morning, so I think our forty-five minutes will be dedicated to calming my nerves and anxiety and pep-talks. So far everybody on the department and most everybody in my family believes in me and supports me in this new venture. I guess I worry about letting them down. What if I don’t pass my clinical? Or practicals or CBTs? I have it in my mind that the testing is a one-shot deal, but in reality you can keep doing the testing until you pass it. But if I fail the first time, does that mean I’m not cut out for being an EMT?

Oh the questions and worries!

et cetera